almost time

It has been quite a while since I've posted and a lot of that has to do with the fact that we haven't really had a lot to update on. 

The nut shell is...
Our boy's condition is still exactly the same. 
Yet he is growing perfectly otherwise (estimated at 7lb 15 oz at 34 weeks, that is huge!).
This pregnancy has been hard physically. Really hard.
Matt is my hero.  He has taken over everything. And that's hard too.
We have been overwhelmed with love from our family and friends (so much so that when I try to write about it I can't find adequate words).
We are still filled with hope.
And the answer to the constantly asked question... Nope, he still doesn't have a name.

 My brothers wedding, Oct 19th

 

So now, after all of these weeks and this high risk pregnancy becoming normal life for us, he is almost here.  We are set to deliver by c-section on Thursday, November 21st at 9 am.  Folks, that is 17 days away! It seems unreal that we are already here.  
 

Our refrigerator is covered in pictures of his sweet profile.

As his delivery date draws closer and we work tirelessly on the to-do list, reality is starting to set in. We met with one of the neonatal doctors that will be overseeing his care in the NICU yesterday and it was a tough, emotional crash back to Earth.  We will be delivering a very sick baby.  The worst case scenario is still the worst case scenario.  If he doesn't have enough intestine to sustain life or if what he has doesn't work there is nothing that the doctors can do.  That is a reality I hadn't let myself think about in weeks or maybe even months.  On the other hand, the best case scenario remains too. If he has enough working intestine then there are a variety of options the doctors will explore. All of this will be determined in the hours and days after he is born. 

We are still praying for a miracle.  For a baby that is born healthier than we could have ever expected with his diagnosis.  For doctors and nurses to be confused and astounded by the miracle of his progress. For our hearts to find peace in the moment to moment uncertainty.    

Yesterday was emotional as we walked through the range of scenarios again but I find it no coincedence that when I went to practice G's memory verse for the week with him the Lord had a sweet gift in store.

Casting all your care upon Him: for He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

So this week, as my anxiety rises and fear tries to invade I get to focus on teaching a four year old just how much God loves us.  So much so that he wants us to cast it ALL upon Him.  And I get to hear G's voice repeat back to me what I so need to hear "Casting all your care upon Him: for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7".

G wanted to take my picture at Home Depot.

His idea of zooming was to instruct me to put my head on my belly.