It's been nuts!
In all of this, the doctors appointments have become fairly routine. The biggest new news that we received is that his left foot is turned in. The doctor noted it on the MRI but our perinatalogist was unable to confirm until last week. Our guy had been breach and was sitting on his feet most of the time, so while they had looked and attempted to measure, the angle was very hard to see. He has flipped for now and it is easier to see the angle between the foot and shin in his new position. While the right leg looks to be normal the left is certainly clubbed. On their own, clubbed feet are not necessarily a big deal and can typically be corrected with therapy, orthopedics or surgery. The concern in our boy is that he now has two abnormalities. This just makes the doctors more suspicious that their might be a bigger chromosomal abnormality going on here.
BUT as always, we aren't sure! It could just been a baby with two abnormalities. Of course, we are hoping and believing this is the case. We hate that he will have one more battle to climb, but I know that the Lord will see us through all of the days ahead just like he has each one behind.
I read something a while back that has stuck with me from NatalieFalls.com. She has an incredible way with words and perspective that is a gift. A friend of hers is going through an uncertain pregnancy and asked for prayers and her response has not left me.
"I held my daughter close and I poured out words that have come from the most difficult times in my life. And they are the most precious and sweetest of times in my life. It was a time when I was desperate for Christ to be my comforter. When no human could possibly offer me any comfort, my Savior was reminding me to trust in Him. Not my plans and my direction. But His perfect plan. His good and perfect plan, one that I would have never picked for myself.
As I told my friend I would pray for her, she's been on my mind ever since. And that test has been on my mind. It can tell her a few things about her baby, but it will never tell her all the things God knows about her baby—after all, He is her baby's creator. The one who formed her beating heart. The one who knows every soft and delicate hair on her precious head."
This is certainly not our plan and one that we would have never picked for ourselves. But it is the Lord's plan for our family and our son. His perfect plan. And she is so right! No matter how many doctors we see or tests they run, they can never know all the things our Creator knows about our boy. They can't tell us about his spirit, about the glory he will bring the Lord and the joy he will bring to our lives. These tests don't know our baby. The Lord does. We, as his family, will be privileged to know much of that ourselves.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
I pray that our souls. That your soul. That each of our boy's souls would know His wonderful works so very well.