When Everything Changes

So I obviously fell hard off the blogging wagon since my last post was over a year ago, titled Part 1 and the boys had just turned 3 and 1. Oops!

But here we are today, one week after everything changed and I wanted a way to journal the weeks and days ahead. I probably won't ever get around to part 2 so lets just start fresh here.

You hear about this type of day, maybe you've even had one, a day that seems like everything you knew or thought when you woke up is different by the time you hit the bed that night.  Last Thursday was that day for us.  We were scheduled for our 20 week sonogram to see our baby, our third, due in December.  For the first time we were going to find out if this little fig was boy or girl before his/her actual birthday.  I was nervous and excited to find out more about this little babe while I was still pregnant.

It wasn't long before our sweet sonographer said "that's not supposed to be there."  She proceeded to tell us that our baby had fluid building in his abdomen, a condition called ascities. She remained upbeat as she looked over the rest of his body, captured sweet pictures of his hands and feet, and told us that we would be having another baby boy.  She also mentioned that our ob would want to see us today and that they would refer us to a specialist to find out exactly why the fluid was building.

After quickly meeting with my ob for a counseling/information session she sent us immediately to the specialists office.  That's when it hit us that this was serious.  We were supposed to be at our specialist appointment in less than an hour and were hearing things like "this doesn't mean you are going to lose the baby" and "I haven't seen this in a patient in over 5 years".

It a state of confusion with hot tears in our eyes we head across town to meet the specialist and find out exactly what this all meant.  A long wait and another two long sonograms later the doctor started breaking it all down for us.

While ascities can be caused by numerous things, it seemed that our son was lacking either all or part of his large intestines and his small intestines was measuring small too.  She very briefly went into the severity of not having a large intestine but said that we probably wouldn't know exactly the condition of his GI tract until he is born.  We decided to do some blood/ chromosome testing that we hadn't done in the beginning and got set up for appointments to keep monitoring his condition in two week increments.

We left that appointment in tears and just trying to process everything we had heard.  Trying to process how hours earlier we were so excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl and now we were weeping for the health of our baby.  Over the next few hours and certainly over the days since we have come up with a laundry list of more questions that hopefully we will be able to ask at our two appointments next week.

Where I stand now is in a roller coaster of emotion but solidly grounded in my faith.  We have already seen the Lord's hand at work in this and I pray that would continue.  We are praying for complete healing. This boy is already a miracle and we are believing that The Lord can heal him completely. We are praying for wisdom in the weeks to come, in all of the decisions that will have to be made and for the doctors as they guide our care. We are praying that as the test results come back that he would have no chromosomal abnormalities that would complicate his condition. We are praying that our son's life, no matter what it looks like, would bring glory to His name. Our boy is fearfully and wonderfully made.

If you would pray with us we would be so grateful.  I have felt a strong sense of peace in all of this news despite the sometimes seemingly unending tears and I pray that this would continue in all of the uncertainty of the weeks ahead. It is an enormous comfort to me that despite any news that the doctors might give we have only one place to turn for ultimate healing, comfort and lasting joy.